How To Avoid Aggressive Behavior?

Throughout our personal and social history we find ourselves surrounded by aggressive manifestations, be they wars, gender violence, family or couple arguments, among others. Can aggressive behavior be avoided?

Although it seems that being surrounded by these situations is inevitable, there are many ways to keep them out. The most important thing is to strengthen self-control, since it is key to piloting strong emotions in those moments that trigger them.

What can we do? What alternatives can we put in place? This time we want to share some key recommendations that could help you.

However, you must bear in mind that these are only recommendations and that, therefore, they may not work to avoid aggressive behavior in yourself or in someone around you. If you or someone in your environment exhibits aggressive or violent behavior, it is best to see a mental health professional for help.

How to avoid aggressive behavior: 6 tips

There are situations in which it is difficult to avoid aggressive behavior; However, when it does recur, it is important to think about it before it becomes the cause of more problems. Let’s see below some strategies to manage it.

1. Try not to argue loudly or fight each other

Many times we will be right on an issue, but reaching the fighting situation or having a strong discussion does not mean that we will be able to solve something. Among other things, it may happen that each party becomes more rooted in its position, instead of trying to negotiate or understand the other.

To do this, we can first think about why we intend to fight, reach out to voices, insult, etc. And what consequences will all this have?

We have to bear in mind that apart from aggressiveness, there are many other ways to get what we want, want or need, without having such disastrous consequences. Therefore, we will consider the possible alternatives, we will choose the one that suits us best, and we will put it into practice.

2. Self-control

It is good to be aware of what we feel, know how to differentiate and not get carried away so much by the first impulse we have, therefore, self-control techniques, such as a good use of breathing or relaxation, are effective to avoid aggressive behavior. 

How to do?

• Identify whether or not the situation poses a risk to us.
• Concentrate on internal sensations, and if we think we can lose control we can resort to some techniques such as counting to 10 slowly, giving us a break.

3. Respond to jokes

We are often the subject of jokes, and instead of reacting appropriately, we become angry or withdrawn. On these occasions, the interpretation we have made about the person who has made us the joke is negative, we believe that he wanted to annoy us or ridicule us.

It may or may not be correct, but it is always appropriate to learn how to react to these situations. The best thing about humor is more humor or ignoring with sympathy what is said.

Therefore, we will identify the intent of the joke, think about how to fix it, and find an alternative to avoid aggressive behavior as a response.

4. Convincing others

To convince someone does not mean to oblige, but to show someone a way that we consider the best way of doing things so that she voluntarily decides whether or not to follow our proposal.

To do this, we have to teach the other the good things about what we propose, always with respect, and know how to accept that the other may not do it.

5. Negotiate

Negotiation is important when two or more parties have different opinions and cannot reach an agreement. Negotiating is reaching a common agreement for the parties, it is not arguing or fighting; in order to avoid aggressive behavior.

To negotiate with someone, it is very important to know what the other party thinks and feels. Furthermore, we do not have to try to impose our ideas by force, since we have to take into account the will of the other person.

In a negotiation process, both parties must express themselves with respect, and listen to each other to later reach an agreement that is beneficial for both.

6. Share and help others

All people need help at some point in our lives, therefore, just as we receive, it is also very important to give to the other.

Not only can we help or share something when asked, but we can also do it when we realize that someone needs help or because we simply feel predisposed to it.

Both have many benefits, they will make us and others feel better, we will improve our interpersonal relationships and we will surely get help when we need it.

Remember that what we have described here are only recommendations that may not help you in a complicated situation of violence and / or aggressive behavior. That is why it is best to go to a psychologist or psychiatrist for help if you have a problem that cannot be solved with this type of action.

Finally, a phrase from the American writer Napoleon Hill:

” Remember that every discussion has at least three points of view: yours, the other’s and the others.”